Stop Seeking Love From...

A guardians guide to the galaxy, but different

No matter how much self-help information seeking you do, you never feel the change. You fall into similar habits, and similar beliefs. You can’t quite find the happiness you think exists or that your friend who’s in the same position as you tells you they have.

“Comparison is the thief of joy”.

You sit there, doom-scrolling on IG. You see a nice post of a seemingly happy person, your heart may race for a second, then a flood of jealousy may loom over you, and then the resentment sets in. You find yourself justifying how lucky they are, how their situation is better or easier, and the excuses pile on. Oh the excuses.

“Well I have kids so..”, “they probably got help from..”, “If I didn’t have to work..”, “he’s never home with the family though..”. Familiar? Maybe you have heard these before. Maybe you have even said these before. And that’s why you’re here, another wash of information thinking that you’re better or you’re different, but you’re not. Because no one has taught you how to be. We’re all just learning from others who have done their best in the given circumstances and we have to hope and pray that they know best.

So where do we go? Well 58% of people admit to viewing porn, which leaves 40-41% of dark secret keepers, if you catch my drift. “69% of people will shop online for Black Friday”- a real article on whatis.com. Article here You have heard ‘retail therapy’. You have heard of binge drinking. 2.3 billion people worldwide drink. And yet less than 5% of adults exercise more than 30 minutes per day. Lack of exercise . What we’re getting at here is, people don’t choose healthy things to pick themselves up. They take depressants, or spend all their disposable income which also ends up quite depressing. A new poll suggested 52% of Canadians are within $200 of not being able to pay their bills. Odds are, these people do online shop, and they do drink, as per the above statistics.

First off, stop seeking love from things. It never works and any wealthy person I’ve ever spoke to about this has attested that money often simply creates convenience, but excess does not necessarily create love or happiness. Porn often short circuits our brains dopamine pathways (very simply put). At first, breasts or abs are a turn on. Then you need more nudity, and then action. Then simple intercourse isn’t enough and you need special categories, interracial, multiple people, that step-sibling stuff which is oddly one of the most popular categories now. “Help I’m stuck in the dryer!” "WHAT!? Alcohol is quite similar. 1-4 drinks is a fun time. Then your ‘tolerance’ goes up and you need more. Now your likelihood of very poor choices skyrockets. Not that I would know, or have ever woke up on a bench outside in the winter.

More importantly, stop seeking love from someone who can’t give it. Who doesn’t love themselves. Receiving external validation is hard and fleeting enough let alone from someone without a healthy relationship with themselves. For women, don’t ‘stay for the kids’ because they didn’t ask for that and they shouldn’t think unhealthy relationships are normal. Daddy yelling at mommy and vice versa is not okay. Also don’t get wrapped up financially in needing a man so much that it keeps you in an abusive or toxic relationship. For men, one of the healthiest things they don’t do is have good friends of the same sex. Not ones that when things are hard they say “let’s go for drinks”, or tell you what you want to hear. You should be getting real quality feedback, from a man. From a man who has a healthy relationship with himself, and those around him.

Go be better. Set a good example for the ones watching you, because someone likely is.

Have you ever flirted to gain self-worth?

• Yes
• No
• I prefer not to say, (so yes)