How to better understand others

And help them understand others too

In a world of MSM pushing what you should be concerned with, where you should send your money to, and what flag to fly on your front porch, it can be very difficult to think beyond the surface level. Beyond that, most people either don’t give themselves time to critically think, much less slow down and be empathetic taking your own self-limiting beliefs out of the way.

Say you have a strongly opinionated friend, who hears your other friend still owns a townhouse in the city and they ask, “why haven’t they sold that yet?”, and then continues to share their opinion on what they think that friend should do with their life. Rather than go on your own tangent as to why, in this example or any other where it’s this back and forth exchange until the more dominant person feels they have ‘won’, try this. Ask. Ask a question. Many questions. The goal of this is for the person to answer their own question with some sympathy and logic, rather than you trying to strong-arm them about something you may not even know yourself. In this example you could respond with “great question, why do you think they may have kept it?”. “If you were in that situation, why would have have potentially hung onto the condo?”. To whatever they say, especially if they are still clouded by their own ‘expertise’ you could say, “Yeah you could be right, and do you think they could have even…?” This builds a common ground, acknowledges they may even be right, which will likely open them up to an existence other than their own.

Okay now say you have a son. He’s determined that he, at the old age of 18 knows everything to know about relationship, and rightfully so, he’s been in, two. Hmmmm. He thinks the man is the alpha, that the female must submit to his every desire, even if it means he can have many wives as he likes, and that the wives must be of service to him. Rather than tell him you don’t support his future brothel, that family functions would be way too confusing for you, how you didn’t raise him that way, and that he can’t be serious, ask a question. It could sound like, “interesting, do you see that for yourself?” Right here you may found out that he isn’t even interested in that lifestyle, and it’s just a theory he picked up from an online influencer. Even if your wicked brilliant relationship know-it-all kid says she does see it for himself, it’s probably best to ask questions. You could divert into “what do you think your kids would say to their friends one day?” “What if you end up loving one and have to divorce the other 4?” “What if one gets jealous and decides to post embarrassing things about you and your brothel?”

The point of all this, is telling someone they are wrong, is not near as effective as helping them realize on their own they are wrong. There is a time and place for instruction, and for telling. Like when they are younger. Before they run across the road without looking both ways. Telling your friend not to change the channel from the PTO race to CNN. Obvious stuff. Ask questions to help someone understand an alternative view, or just to challenge their own. Don’t simply give your own. Ask. Don’t tell. Win.